Just when you thought he was down for the count, a preview for the sixth Rocky came out. Sixty-year old Sylvester Stallone has discovered the value of natural resources and he intends to do with it what any '80s action star would do: capitalize on it! Sly recently jumped into the corner of GlaciaNova, a company that sells bottled glacial water from Mt. Rainier. "There is absolutely nothing on the earth more important for keeping us alive than water," Stallone says, although experts suggest that his longer list includes endorsements, oxygen, and "Adriaaaan!" The good news? Sly's water sells for only $60.00 a case. Seriously.

Brad Pitt, long ago announced as a juror for a sustainable development contest in New Orleans sponsored by Global Green, unveiled the winning proposal last week. But the superstar felt the need to offer more than praise and smiles, saying he's "appalled and embarrassed," by the snail-like pace the redevelopment process is crawling along at. Critics of Pitt's efforts say that his presence only reinforces the city's lingering feeling that a river runs through it.

This Saturday in New York, Whoopi Goldberg, Chris Noth, John C. Reilly, and surprise musical guests are gathering at The Plumm, a new club owned by Noth and Noel Ashman, to raise money for the Rainforest Action Network in a carbon-neutral celebration. The event is co-sponsored by Papio—the excellent wine company with the jazz-playing monkeys on the bottle that gives a portion of proceeds to support primate conservation. Suspicions that the monkeys are the "surprise musical guests" have not been confirmed nor denied by the event's organizers.

Earlier in the week Crosby, Stills, Nash,& Young, who have been touring with biofuels for six years, made a stop at "BioTown, USA," previously known (to those who knew it) as Reynolds, Indiana. Americans who are familiar with the band had mixed feelings upon learning that after years of twelve step programs, David Crosby is still a pioneer in experimenting with various chemical substances, even if they do have names like "ethanol" and "biodiesel."

Wednesday night Paris Hilton was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol, much to the delight of the blogosphere. In case members of the public don't find Hilton's actions deplorable enough as is, she happened to be driving a car that gets less than 15 miles per gallon. Rumor has it that some members of the Hilton publicity team contend that Paris had nothing at all to drink and was merely dizzy from the excessive amount of greenhouse gasses spewing from her tailpipe.