The most savage beast in the music industry is at it again. Beyonce, longtime enemy of PETA and known to be a foe to wildlife, recently copped to requesting that a baby alligator's mouth be taped shut during a photo shoot for her new album cover. The young reptile (the alligator, not the pop star) reacted by urinating all over Destiny's most famous child, hence fulfilling the innermost desires of environmentalists and animal rights activists everywhere.

After an unlikely turn of events, at least one news source is applying the words, "one of the country's foremost advocates of a major shift in energy policy" to somebody whose last name is Bush. The St. Petersburg Times reports that Jeb Bush, famous for being the one who isn't the President, has a newfound passion for ethanol as a fuel source after reading a report on new energy options. Jeb has called on his brother, George, to lift a tariff on Brazilian ethanol, but thus far his pleas have fallen on deaf, bizarrely ape-like ears.

The new season of The Martha Stewart Show will reportedly feature exciting new segments on improving the energy efficiency of your home and becoming more environmentally aware as a consumer. However, despite the first-hand experience Stewart has to offer, reports that the show will also include tips on creating a carbon neutral and eco-friendly prison cell appear to be largely unfounded.

This week the NRDC's website features a video encouraging participation in the never ending fight to save the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, nearly 20,000 acres of federal protected (so far) diverse wildlife in Northeastern Alaska. The star of the video? None other than Robert Redford. While the video has proven informative and inspiring to all demographics, the NRDC can probably expect a gigantic influx of donations from previously inactive middle-aged single women.

NASCAR legend Rusty Wallace has joined the ranks of Julia Roberts, Morgan Freeman, and Willie Nelson by becoming a board member of Earth Biofuels, Inc, a producer of biodiesel. In the meantime, Julia Roberts and Morgan Freeman are left wondering, "Is it just me, or did it just get much more rednecky in here?"