Ever wonder why Valentine's Day falls during the coldest, grayest time of the year? Ancient Romans picked the day to celebrate their pagan fertility queen Juno by running naked through the streets. Later, medieval Europeans started sending Valentine's to their loved ones on the date, declaring it the first day of the year when birds began to mate. In short, this has always been the season to strip down and get it on. Whatever the weather, Valentine's is a great occasion to slip under the covers, pore over one of these enlightening books, and turn up the heat.
Similar to other heart-pounding activities, sex is best on a well balanced diet. Healthy foods can build stamina and improve results. But nourishing the heart takes a different kind of diet. Lovers will feast on Mabel Iam "recipes" in The Love Diet: Expert Techniques for Sensual Pleasure and Mind-blowing Sex [1]. With exercises, meditation, and discussion topics, the book offers new ideas on how to spice up your love connection.
All of the energy you put in to "bringing sexy back" will pay off. Sex is something that feels good and is good for you. Orgasms can relieve pain and stress, help you sleep, and lower your chance of contracting cancer and other diseases, according to The Science of Orgasm [2] by Beverly Whipple, Barry R. Komisaruk, and Carlos Beyer-Flores. A first-rate sex education can bring you and your partner closer to a clean bill of health...and climax. Take the time to study your partner and learn how their body works. For homework, Ian Kerner has written humorous how-to books, She Comes First [3] (for him) and He Comes Next [4] (for her). The books are terrific manuals of the human anatomy for both women and men. Kerner's tips and step-by-step lessons on what-works-when offer a hand in maneuvering the opposite sex into erotic euphoria.
Unfortunately, lots of things can come between a couple and quality time between the sheets. Crying babies, never-ending to-do lists, and waning libidos often get in the way. And yet, in the midst of the daily routine, making the effort to give your partner sexual pleasure can bring bliss for you both. In her book The Sex Starved Marriage [5], Michele Weiner Davis urges couples to make sex a priority in their lives because of its powerful bond. Instead of rolling away from advances, make a move toward your partner, even if the mood doesn't strike you right away. By giving your undivided attention to your partner's erogenous zones, you show a willingness to understand their needs, says Davis. This selfless giving helps both partners become more loving and caring toward each other, well beyond the bedroom.
Frenchwoman Esther Perel tackles the same problem from a different angle in Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic [6]. Perel says Americans are so busy analyzing their relationships, they've stopped listening to their bodies. She suggests avoiding a mundane routine by focusing on oneself. Go out with friends and pursue activities without your spouse. When you reunite, be mindful of your own desire and don't hesitate to follow it.
After all of this reading and research, putting your new knowledge to work shouldn't feel like a chore. Make sure there's room in your repertoire for belly laughs and giggles. Sex can be silly. The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex [7], reminds us that the best approach to a night of passion is to be open to having a good time.