In one of the most heart-warming stories of the year, Richard Branson, "the rebel billionaire" behind the Virgin mega-empire, announced on Thursday [1] that he would contribute about three billion (yes, BILLION) dollars to combat global warming [1] with the Clinton Global Initiative [2], saying he was inspired by an earlier conversation with Al Gore. The bad news? In our book, Branson's donation buys him the right to pollute the television [3] waves with as much garbage as he wants.
Ted Turner, widely known for his destructive love of classics [4], is opening a new branch [5] of his chain restaurant in New York's Rockefeller Center. Ted's Montana Grill serves typical American fare with a slant toward bison [6]. According to one source [7], "eco-conscious diners will be happy to learn that menus are printed on recycled paper." Unfortunately, Turner will be unhappy to learn that many eco-conscious diners aren't likely to bite into a conventionally-farmed burger made of a previously endangered animal. Well, Ted, at least you're throwing environmentalists a bone [8]. We'll take what we can get.
The Kalahari Bushmen have called upon eco-warrior Leonardo DiCaprio to help give them rights [9] to the land they flourished on before the ecologically devastating [10] practice of diamond mining ousted them. DiCaprio, star of the upcoming film Blood Diamond [11], has not yet responded to the Bushmen's plea. However, Julie Christie has come forward to offer words of support to the plight, leaving the Bushmen to ask, "Who?"
Movie star Diane Lane has joined the ranks of biofuel-friendly celebrities, she announced [12] on a television appearance this week. "Instead of complaining," she says she wants "to do what I can." At this point it remains unclear whether the chilly box office return of Must Love Dogs [13] was part of Lane's strategic efforts to start global cooling or just a lucky accident.
Earlier this week Matthew McConaughey was seen [14] enjoying one of the Earth's most precious resources. McConaughey has spoken before about his love for surfing and for taking advantage of the great outdoors before, but if he drove to the beach in one of the SUVs he was photographed next to, the eco-conscious surfing community [15] is going to be extremely unhappy. The possibly incriminating shirtless photos have also left millions of environmentally dedicated young women dazed and confused [16] about their allegiances.