Living well and doing good are not mutually exclusive concepts. At least, they shouldn't be. In his latest book, Columbia University professor Peter S. Temes argues that there is fulfillment and empowerment to be found in focusing on those around us.
The Power of Purpose: Living Well by Doing Good [1]
Integrating the notion of service into your life, Temes writes, is indeed "the touchstone of meaningful success." For those who ponder the enduring question—is there a secret weapon to being successful?—Temes responds that there is, although it isn't what you might expect.
Though it might seem counterintuitive, "the more you focus on helping others, the more you will succeed in reaching your goals. Helping others is the most direct and effective way to reach your goals in your personal relationships, at work, and in your community," he writes. "There is no better or more rewarding purpose you can find each day, and no more practical tool for getting where you want to go." (Sound familiar? It’s a main tenet [2] of certain strains of Buddhism).
In the hands of a lesser writer (and thinker), such lines might read like empty platitudes and self-help babblings. But Temes is specific about the transformative effects of practicing generosity and thoughtfulness: achieving more confidence, more respect, and a greater sense of purpose, clarity, and direction—which so many of us are lacking. He relies on both Eastern and Western paradigms, positing that both are valuable: the "ambition and outward focus" of the West and the "patience and humility" of the East. Both can be applied to the art of "making a difference."
He describes role models from Socrates to Emerson to Mother Teresa to Michael Jordan, citing a crucial factor in their success: risk-taking. (This is where patience and humility come in--not to mention discipline and commitment.) "You need to take the risks of doing new things," he writes, "…if you want to get out of the usual lockstep lifestyle that rewards you with just enough, but never with all you need to live the life you want to live."
How can ambition and risk be applied for the greater good, rather than simply owning a big house and a luxury car and designer clothing? Temes points out that ambition is no dirty word: Mother Teresa--every bit as ambitious as Donald Trump--applied her yearning and passion to building hospitals, hospices, convents and schools in more than 100 countries. (She was savvy, too--setting up a fundraising office in New York.) Ambition, Temes notes, "can be as worthy as Mother Teresa's work--and frankly it should be." Be successful, but extend it beyond yourself, he urges: "Share what you gain, and you are doing the work the world needs done."
A key lesson in this important book comes from Aristotle's notion of doing good (action) versus merely having a desire to "be good," which is vague and passive. Temes takes this point right down to his own life, with an apparently mundane example: whenever he and his family go on a hike, they take an empty plastic bag to collect the trash they find along the way. They do the same thing on bike paths and at the beach, a habit that gives both him and his children immense pride.
Apply the message of the book to this tiny action, and it doesn't seem so small. "Cleaning up other people's messes doesn't always feel like the right thing to do," he writes, "but to see a small corner of the world made better because of your own labor is a wonderful thing, and a powerful lesson for a child."
Since Temes breaks down his wisdom into such small, practical steps, he makes it all seem so easy: live mindfully; listen and be attentive to others; be selfless rather than selfish, and you will find fulfillment. The rewards of "living well by doing good" are so abundant that ultimately, to ignore this book's advice is to deprive yourself--and who wants to do that?
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The Power of Purpose: Living Well by Doing Good [3]
By Peter S. Temes
Cost: $24
Where to buy: Amazon.com [4]