The Ants Go Marching

Georgia ran outside in a whirl of five-year-old frenzy. "What's going on?" Hova asked. "What are you doing?"

"I had to save an ant from Mommy. Mommy squishes and kills every ant in sight. On purpose."

Seeing Georgia's accusing look, I shot a "what the??" look at Hova, and Georgia defiantly informed me that she saved the ant because, "I didn't want you to kill it, because it needed to go outside to its polony because it was bringing food to its polony."

I am a murderer. I am usually a pacifist, and my garden plants are pocked with slug holes, something always eats most of my clematis, and I fight aphids on my roses with a stream of water and the hope of ladybugs. We even relocate spiders to the great outdoors. No matter that they are indoor spiders, at least they have a chance to make a go of it in a new neighborhood.

But when the little black sugar ants come marching, as they do every spring, I have to take action. Sometimes they invade Georgia's room in the attic, sometimes in strict formation in one bathroom or the other, this year there were hundreds foraging willy nilly all throughout the living room. Georgia's bleeding heart broke as I got out the vacuum cleaner, and she begged me not to kill them. I waited until she was fast asleep and then sucked them up.

As you can tell, Georgia is a bug lover. She even wants to be a slug scientist (and a bronco-busting cowgirl). But I can tolerate only so much. Today the ants were in my kitchen. That's when the chemical warfare begins. But since I opt for organic [0] anything whenever possible and I don't even use toxic cleaners in my toilet, I'm not about to use ant spray or dangerous, harmful pesticides on the ants.

Lucky for me there is a relatively safe, common household chemical that seems to do in the tiny brigades: 20 Mule Team Borax [1], which I have in my house so that we can make flubber [2]. It's not non-toxic, so be mindful when you use it, and don't let pets or children near the solution. You can find many recipes [3] online, but I mix ¼ teaspoon with one teaspoon of water and one tablespoon of something sweet, like syrup or the agave nectar that does nothing to satisfy my sweet tooth. I usually microwave the mixture for about 10 seconds to make sure the Borax really melts. I dribble a few drops around where the ants are coming in, and once they find it they make quick work of taking it back to the polony, er, colony. In a few days, no ants. Whether they have moved on because that's what ants do, or my noxious cocktail has done its dirty business, I am currently ant-free.

Photo credit: Snap® [4]