Breaking news in Los Angeles! Scarlett Johansson reportedly refused to walk 100 yards on the set of her current project, He's Just Not That Into You, insisting that she be chauffeured instead [1]. Critics cry "diva!" while environmentalists shake their heads. A representative from the production defended the actress by saying, "We prefer that talent use vans." Rumor has it that in order to offset her indulgence, Ms. Johansson is considering building a solar panel so big it would cover nearly half of her ego.

Concern over global warming [1] was voiced by an unlikely source Thursday when Condoleezza Rice spoke on behalf of the United States government [2]. "What kind of world do we wish to inhabit? And what kind of world do we wish to hand to future generations?" Rice asked on Thursday at a conference of the most polluting nations in the world. Rice hinted that the U.S. will cooperate in hitting a carbon reduction goal to be named at a later conference. Oddly, a Dick Cheney shaped shadow was seen approaching the podium from behind with what appeared to be a garrotte.

This week the New York Times reported [3] that production on the electric Tesla Roadster [4] faces a slight delay. The article also says that George Clooney, who is scheduled to get one of the first Roadsters, already owns an electric Tango [5]. Part of the appeal of the Tango, according to the paper, is that it "looks like a car that got caught in a trash compactor." It remains unclear whether or not Clooney still wants the car now that he already redesigned his motorcycle earlier this week [6].

Bill Clinton is very impressed [7] by Wal-Mart's sustainability [7] practices. The former president said that developing nations could use the mega corporation's greening as a template, which economists say is fitting since Wal-Mart currently bases its pay scale and working conditions policies on the template set by developing nations.

In the baseball world, the Boston Red Sox, team of David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, and Cy Young probable Josh Beckett, have announced their intention to join forces with the NRDC [8] to cut the carbon emissions of Fenway Park. Baseball fans speculate that just as Red Sox fans start to embrace the environmental group, the New York Yankees will offer it an absurd contract to come partner with them instead.