I didn't expect all the seeds I planted to take, they just did. Mere days later, tiny shoots poked their way out of the soil, leaving me swollen-headed about my extreme green thumb. Not for long.

The lettuce was first to go, chomped down to the nub. Then the spinach. But I thought at least the broccoli was safe--it held on for a good two weeks, growing strong and even getting a little bushy. Then, "wack!" I stepped out on the back deck a few mornings ago to find a mutilated vegetable looking like something that had been gone at with a machete. The Destroyer had done its dirty work in the dead of night.

There followed several stages of grief, anger. The vegetables were gone. GONE. Who had dared to rob my toddler twins of the most vitamin-packed delights around? I'll GET whatever $%%$# critter did this. It's gonna be sorry! When my husband started giving me odd looks, I realized I had ventured into the Bill Murray/gopher pyrotechnics zone.

"Time to get a grip," said my father, in the jaded tones of a man who's lost prize corn to brazen West Virginian deer. "You win some, you lose some. That's gardening,"

He's right. But practically speaking, as a gardener, I would actually like to know what animal did this. Was it a rat, squirrel, groundhog, rabbit? I haven't seen any rabbits or groundhogs in my urban 'hood ever, I didn't think squirrels like veggies, and my father said rats are much more partial to meat. Maybe D.C. rats will eat anything? I found an organic gardening site [1] that mentions caterpillars have a special fondness for broccoli, but I can't believe caterpillars could have flattened all my broccoli overnight. Anyone have any ideas?

Even after I find the Destroyer, I'll have so many unanswered questions. Why these vegetables? How can I keep it from happening again? Is this even a practical undertaking? Maybe it just isn't practical to grow lettuce, spinach, and broccoli in the D.C. area. I look at my tomato plants with a heavy heart these days. Maybe the only thing that will last is the hairy, nasty zucchini and a few stoic peppers. Sigh. The twins and I might be in for a limited garden-grown menu after all.

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