Hollywood's favorite evil-looking actor, Rob Lowe, took a break from pretending to be evil in Los Angeles this week for a few rounds of golf in Iowa [1]. However, it seems the star villain was typecast even on the golf course; four holes in to a relaxing game, Lowe's ball struck a goldfinch, the Iowa state bird, midair and killed it. Lowe said of the incident, "This is unbelievable. Who comes here and kills the state bird? Only me." Rumor has it that Lowe proceeded to trip over the state flower, run over the state rodent in his golf cart, and laugh a frightening and sadistic laugh. It remains unclear whether or not he was wearing a suspicious looking eyepatch at the time.
Prince Charles, aka The Green Prince, scoped out [2] a brand new ethanol-fueled BioPower Saab 9-3 on Monday. Charles was attending an eco-car rally in England. It's especially important that the Prince and his subjects celebrate alternative fuels, climate scientists say, because more energy than normal is required to move the extra stiff Brits around.
On Wednesday noted animal rights activist and famed game show host Bob Barker taped his last episode [3] of "The Price is Right." After a remarkable career, Barker is retiring at the age of 83. Barker says his career was extended an extra five years at least by his vegetarian [3] diet, while insiders say his longevity has much more to do with his discreet replacement by a robot in 1993.
Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa recently spoke out [4] in open advocacy of more wind power, ambitiously calling for the L.A. Department of Water and Power to bolster its usage of renewable energy sources by 20% in three short years. "We're working to set the green standard," Villaraigosa said, causing most Angelinos to laugh until they choked on a disgusting layer of smog.
Al Gore was bombarded with chants [5] of "Run, Al, Run," at a book signing in Chicago this week. Gore predictably responded, "I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not planning on doing it." Of course, astute observers of the political scene are already well aware that Gore is too busy saving the world to run for president.