Ladies and gentlemen, I have come to a decision about the studio [0]: I’m going to tear that mother down.

For those of you just joining us, I have a small writers studio/workshop/dude room in my backyard that’s currently – and really very unfortunately – infested with carpenter ants. And after maybe too [0] much [0] deliberation, I’m going to tear it down. Like, this week.

I was out in the studio over the weekend – I still store a lot of my tools out there, seeing as they’re made of metal and thus immune to the vicious jaws of insects – and the place was vibrating with ants. It was like a horror movie. The Ants, starring Phil! From the directors of The Tell-Tale Carapace! Coming this fall!

A few storyboards from the impending production…

Carpenter ants don’t actually eat the wood and foam; they dig tunnels in it to live in and raise babies in. And I, for one, will no longer live – or sit, rather, trying to work – in an ant farm [1]. So I’m taking it from them [2], and replacing it with something both earth-friendly – and ant-proof.