Just one question for all you intelligent design advocates; what brainiac gave us the mosquito?

OK, so it’s kind of funny that I, the food editor, am being eaten alive by a mosquito. But I’m not laughing; I’m about to collapse from exhaustion after nearly a week of being woken up every night by the telltale buzz of this voracious little vampire who’s left bites all over my body, undeterred by Eau de Deet (that’s how desperate I am to get some sleep.)

Once awakened, I scratch my arms in a sleepy stupor and wonder how one little creature could cause so much havoc. Also, it’s December; why hasn’t the cold weather killed all the mosquitoes by now?

Help is on the way, according to Matt. My 5 a.m. itch-induced hysteria sent him to the internet this morning, where he ordered an indoor Honeywell mosquito trap. It sounds like a kind of Havahart trap for bugs; its light attracts flying pests and catches them, but if you’ve caught a beneficial bug or you’re just a Buddhist at heart, you can release your captive outdoors.

Like our commander-in-chief, I do not condone torture in any way, shape, or form. But I’ll let my tormentor starve to death, if I can catch him. I know it’s bad karma, but I’m too tired to care. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll get a pet bat. After all, I used to have a pet gecko back in the day, when I lived in a roach-infested tenement on the Lower East Side. He was highly effective, at least until he fell asleep under the radiator and slowly roasted.

BTW, FYI, fried gecko is apparently a delicacy in Vietnam. Let’s not lose sight of the fact that this is a food blog, after all.

Image credit: Frank and Frances Carpenter collection (Library of Congress) between ca. 1900 and ca. 1930