Now, I'm typically not one for conspiracy theories, but it seems increasingly clear to me that forces bigger and more powerful than I am want to feed me more than I need. Forces, I suspect, like food companies with deep pockets, big R&D staffs, and very clever marketing departments.

I developed this theory the other day, after reading a great article in the New York Times about how most of us are routinely "tricked" into eating larger portions.

The article points out that the average person makes more than 200 decisions each day about what and how much to eat. We're barely conscious of most of those choices (we think we make 15 per day). But food companies, I am willing to bet, are acutely aware of each step of our decision-making process.

Common tactics include gigantic plates, larger forks and spoons, deeper bags, more colorful labels, peppier dinner music, etc., etc. The overall point, it seems, is to ensure that our visual and sensory perceptions conflict with our body's "I'm full now" signals.

I thought about this as some friends and I had dinner yesterday at our neighborhood pasta joint. Our pasta dishes came out in huge bowls that easily held four times a normal portion -- a common enough sight these days. "Hah!" I thought. "I'm wise to this gambit. And that's why I'm walking out of here with tomorrow's lunch."

As it happened, I left with a doggy bag containing half my meal. My friends — no dummies either — had doggy bags too. Doesn't that prove that we're immune to trickery? After all, how can we be the suckers if we're walking out with leftovers?

But here's the thing: All of us ate half of our pasta, which probably worked out to at least two generous portions. Amazingly, those portions were so enormous that I managed to overindulge and feel sanctimonious with my doggy bag at the same time. That's probably even why I like the restaurant.

I hate admitting this, but I don't know how to outsmart food corporations, especially when they spend countless millions and devote countless hours in order to outsmart me. Truth is, I get mixed up in a world where I have to second-guess whether my spoon looks suspiciously large.

Like Alice in Wonderland, I've tumbled down the rabbit hole. And like Alice, if see a cake that says "Eat Me," I'm likely to obey in confusion, unsure if it'll make me bigger or smaller.

If you've have a few tricks on eating sanely in an insane world, please share them. Personally, I'd welcome a little insight down here in the rabbit hole.