I'm not sure how or when it happened, but at some point buying a quart of milk from the grocery store became a major ordeal.

Gone are the days of simply grabbing a carton with the most reasonable expiration date. Now, the buying of milk has become a personal statement of one's ethical values, global consciousness and beliefs about its health benefits. Making a choice takes time, energy, information and careful scrutiny.

Standing in front of the dairy case is no longer about trying to figure out if I want the 1% or skim. Instead, it's become a lengthy Q&A session with myself that goes something like this:

Q: Should I really pay extra for the organic stuff?
A: Yup. If you're going to drink cow's milk, I think it should be organic.

Q: How about this carton of Horizon?
A: No! Remember, there's a boycott against Horizon.

Q: How bad is rBGH, again?
A: Darn. I forgot to Google rBGH, so I'm still not sure about its impact.

Q: Ah, here's one from a local milk producer. That's good, right? Think global, buy local?
A: In theory, yes. But they put it in a plastic quart. And check the label. It's so not organic.

Q: How about this one with the colorful cow print? It's got the best design.
A: Two words: caveat emptor.

Q: Geez, why is this so complicated?
A: From now, tell everyone you're lactose intolerant and pop some calcium supplements instead.