Well, You Turned Out Okay!

Well, You Turned Out Okay!

Posted by Kim Steckler on January 24, 2007 - 3:41am.

I've heard my mom defensively proclaim "Well, you turned out okay!" at least a dozen times since Hayden was born. And she's not the only one. It seems like everyone I've spoken with since my last post is just as amazed at how much the guidelines have changed in the 33 years since my husband started eating cereal at just a month old.

My mother smoked throughout her pregnancy with me —"We didn't know then what we know today!"—and a friend's mother both smoked and drank. I've even heard stories about doctors who smoked in the office in front of their pregnant patients. We were also put to sleep on our tummies, and breastfeeding was stigmatized. But it's true: We did turn out okay, didn't we?

All these people have an interesting point. I didn't just survive, I even somehow managed to thrive. But I have to wonder, as I obsess over organics and preservatives and antibiotics, how much healthier, how much smarter, I might have turned out. Time will tell if my methods of raising Hayden produce better results, but in the meantime... I just don't buy this "you turned out okay" argument. Do you?

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by Debra_W on January 24, 2007 - 2:35pm

You are ok, hayden will be great!

as soon as I saw the title

by Mrs._Buttons on January 25, 2007 - 12:52pm

I could relate -especially concerning my decision to breastfeed.

I have allergies and moderate asthma (I am adopted and was formula fed, although after 2 months of struggling to get me to drink it my mom started feeding me cereal) and was excited at the prospect of doing something to possibly prevent these problems for my daughter. For me, that's breastfeeding for as long as it works for both of us, and a menu full of organic whole foods.

I think that phrase reveals some issue about the person who said it and possibly how she views her own decisions. My decision to breastfeed and use organic foods is not a judgment on how my mom or any other mother today or yesterday, fed her child. It's just what feels right to me - and that's what I say if someone asks or says "You turned out ok!"

If Only...

by Pupper on January 26, 2007 - 3:15pm

I think this comes down to the consequences of parenting choices, and their impact on the development of children. We need a yardstick by which to measure this: How much is a child's potential damaged by drinking non-organic organic milk? Or maximized by using nontoxic paints and cleaning products? If only such a gauge existed, to help guide parenting decisions and so people would take responsibility for their choices.