From drowning polar bears to disappearing frogs, climate change has devastated many life forms, but Americans may not stand for the latest victim of global warming: Britney Spears' pants. In what's surely a sign of end-of-days style heat, the pop princess was spotted roaming around Los Angeles this week with a shirt, boots, bracelets, and no trousers of any kind, leading sources to speculate that her brain cells might also be among the endangered.

Screen legend James Brolin recently voiced interest in starting a new fast food style brand that would serve organic hamburgers and real vegetables. Brolin said, "If I just went ahead and did it, I'd have a thousand or two thousand franchises already." Brolin seems to be somewhat serious about his idea, but fast food tycoon sources say they do not see the average red-blooded American choosing a "Double Streisand's Hubby Burger" over a Big Mac.

Siegfried & Roy are the latest celebrities to come under fire from an "unauthorized tell-all book." A new manuscript written by former bodyguards of the magicians is due to hit stores in January, and it contains claims that the duo performed several unseemly acts toward people, animals, and the environment, including an anecdote about the secret burial of a deceased elephant in a then-undeveloped area in Las Vegas. In defense of Siegfried & Roy, an elephant carcass is among the more assuring things to be disposed of in the Nevada desert.

This year's Teen Choice Awards sported a "green" theme on Monday, and those who showed up in hybrid cars included Hilary Duff and Jessica Alba. While no award is given out for "most environmentally responsible," Alba did take home the "Choice Female Hottie" award, thus confirming that despite recent outcry, America's values are still very much intact.