If Cameron Diaz and Julie Andrews have their way, the next installment of the Shrek franchise may be weighted with an environmental message, our friends at Ecorazzi reported. "That's something I've been on [the producer's] ear about," Diaz said, "That the swamp could possibly be in danger." Andrews kicked in, "What's a better way to get a message across than with something that's funny?" Because, hey, a little propaganda never hurt anyone.

J. Lo, notorious for her love of fur, has reportedly received death threats from a crazed animal rights activist in recent weeks. The anonymous madperson apparently doesn't know that even though Lopez now drapes herself in dead chinchilla hides, she's still Jenny from the block.

Australian media tycoon Rupert Murdoch set a firm emissions goal this week, saying that "We want to go all the way to zero." Millions of left-wing Americans responded by saying, "Well, Rupert, you always have been a zero to me."

Famed environmentalist and film producer Laurie David has noticed an extreme amount of "extreme weather" lately. She writes, "Global warming might not be directly linkable to every one of these events, but it certainly appears to be pumping our weather full of steroids..." Researchers say the most obvious counterattack—to pump environmentalists full of steroids—would most likely have comically ineffectual results.

This week presidential hopeful Senator Barack Obama voiced his severe disappointment in the Detroit auto industry's ability to create more cars with better fuel efficiency in the United States. While general political wisdom says not to criticize three of the most powerful corporations in the country while you're running for office, Obama's advisors are just satisfied he didn't mention Kansas.