Arnold Schwarzenegger called for all eco-friendly people to embrace everything hip and sexy about the environmental movement in order to get more of mainstream America to fight global warming. In response, the world looked expectantly to Penelope Cruz, and in the meantime Al Gore enthusiastically dropped his pants.

Everybody's favorite eco-celeb Leonardo DiCaprio is apparently soon to be a father. The media is abuzz with reports that his fiancee, Bar Rafaeli is pregnant with the international superstar's first child. While congratulations are surely in order, millions of people around the world fear that the offspring of a male sex icon and a bikini model will only make the planet much, much hotter.

George W. Bush nearly killed himself by accident last week while monkeying around with a new Ford hybrid car. Apparently, the President was about to plug an extension cord into the hydrogen tank of the car rather than the electric tank when Alan Mulally, the CEO of Ford, intervened. Some auto industry experts initially said that the car may not be ready for mainstream America if not even the President knew how to use it, but later retracted their statements.

The line up for this summer's Live Earth concert at Giants Stadium has been announced, and it appears that The Police will headline the event. Smashing Pumpkins, Alicia Keys, Akon, Dave Matthews Band, and Kanye West will also perform. Clearly, the organizers felt that The Police should headline based on the fact that they're the only band in the lineup who actually has witnessed the entire history of global warming from the ice age on.