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Human Brains
Posted by Gary Markowitz on October 31, 2006 - 12:00am.

By Zombie Intern

Note: Because I'm busy working on the new features that will be launching on LIME in the next few days, I have asked our Zombie Intern to be guest blogger today and write about what he had for lunch.

-Gmark

Location: Inside the skull
Key Ingredients:
Frontal lobe, occipital lobe, cerebellum
Zombie Intern's take:
Need more brains!

Today I had the pleasure of indulging in one of my favorite lunch foods: human brains. I'm not sure if it qualifies as "living the change" or not, but I just had one of those cravings that needed to be satisfied. Besides, it's not like I'm having a lot of carbs or anything, so it's probably OK.

Speaking of Live the Change, why must one be living in order to change? The concept, quite frankly, is insulting to the entire undead community.

Now I know that you're probably thinking, "Sure, I hunger for human brains as much as the next guy, but isn't it morally wrong to take the brain of a perfectly good human and have it for lunch?" Well, according to my favorite cookbook, To Serve Man, "as long as you use the whole human, it's OK; a mind is a terrible thing to waste." Add a little cilantro, and you can charge $50 a plate at a fancy SoHo restaurant.

So what have I learned? Well first, that humans are divided into mind, body and spirit. Sometimes by brute force. Also, that meditation and relaxation are important aids to digestion. Humans engaging in these activities are much easier to catch and eat. Lastly, eat organic whenever possible. Stay away from meat that has been pumped full of chemicals and growth hormones. You can usually identify these by the Major League Baseball insignia on the outer wrapper.

Best wishes on this joyous holiday,
Z.I.



<em>kmark</em>'s picture
cute
by kmark on November 3, 2006 - 7:10am
Very amusing Sweetie.

<em>gmark</em>'s picture
Kmark!
by gmark on November 10, 2006 - 10:02am

My wife, ladies and gentlemen.  Kmark the Amazing!


<em>Anonymous</em>'s picture
zombie
by Anonymous on November 7, 2006 - 9:44am
zombies!
<em>csevb10</em>'s picture
To Serve Man
by csevb10 on November 10, 2006 - 2:08pm
Fun....and, the shout out to Twilight Zone deserves praise.

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