Sunday November 22nd, 2009
 |  |
 |
The Devil in the Digital Age
Posted by Belinda Miller on February 3, 2009 - 12:24pm.
Things aren’t always so copasetic in the Momster household. Sometimes, very often in fact, I feel as if I am dragging my family down a greener path as they dig their heels in to resist. And TV has frequently been a sticking place. For two years we didn’t have a TV anywhere at home that Georgia could see, though she did, I’m sad to admit, have TV time when she was about 6 months old when I took her to work with me. When we introduced her to TV at home, we monitored everything that went into her head via VHS or DVD. When my aunt gave us her old big TV it landed in our living room. Since it also had non-existent reception we still watched DVDs, but though it is in the center of the room (grrr), it wasn’t that important in our lives. Sometimes Hova lamented the loss of dumb-down time. He also feels a bit out of it, not knowing pop culture TV references, actors and ads. I live blissfully on the fringe; not caring that the current batch of media glop isn’t going into my head, and especially thankful that Georgia is escaping it.
I’m not against all TV, but I don’t want it influencing Georgia’s taste, confidence and outlook. I am careful what she watches, and choose not to have broadcast TV, even PBS, because I know there are companies out there vying for my daughter’s consumer mind, and that they have powerful tools to suck her in, create desire, and model greedy, unhealthy, inappropriate behavior. Now that she is in Kindergarten she’s exposed to all sorts of things I can’t control, like Chuck E. Cheese and Hannah Montana, and that’s fine. But I want her to be able to see the marketing that is targeting her, and be able to make a choice. I am thrilled that her own pop culture references include Houdini, Long John Silver, Elvis and Kimya Dawson.
So when Hova huddled with the neighbor down the street, discussing some ungodly combination of digital converter and rabbit ears, I was less than enthusiastic about his discoveries. I banned the subject. “Do what you want, I don’t want TV, but if it’s important to you, you’ll need to figure out. I’m not using any of my brain on it.” I imagined the plan would just slink away for lack of support, but then we got a coupon in the mail for a converter box. He’d applied for a coupon. “I don’t want to spend any money on this,” I cautioned. Hova assured me it would be a mere $20, and that his friend at work even had some old rabbit ears. I ignored it, hoping it would go away. Then while shopping he just happened to notice the converter box was on sale, it turned out that it would be only $15 with the coupon.
I enjoy watching Jon Stewart webcasts a few nights a week, but it’s not the comfy-couch snuggle time Hova seeks. We sit in front of the computer, one of us in the office chair (the one I’ve been in all day), and the other in a groovy, but not cushy, red vinyl dinette chair. I can justify the 24 minutes, I can be grossly fascinated by the few commercials, it keeps me up-to-date and it’s funny. But the days of watching M*A*S*H, then Jeopardy, then Wheel of Fortune during dinner, and then later whatever was on that night are over. So are the days of watching just Buffy, Xena and the Powerpuff Girls weekly (Hova posited, “Why do we only watch shows where women kick ass?"). And eventually, just Buffy, and then a little Angel (as methadone for Buffy addicts). And then nothing. We’ve got too much life in our lives for all that TV, and I want TV on my own time, not on a schedule. So one night last week I was in the office getting some last minute work in, I heard, “Uh oh, what have I done?”
I rushed downstairs to see the disaster, and there it was, in full, digital clarity. A perfect picture of one of the now ten or so channels we get. “She can never see this.” I said, “I know,” said Hova, looking for a place to hide the box so it wouldn’t be questioned by Miss Observant. The devil has entered our home, and I hope we’ve given Georgia the solid foundation to distinguish between want and need, sustainable living and crass “luxuries,” and to deliver her from the many temptations that ads have to offer. But I see, in a big, clear picture, a long, bumpy section ahead in my greener path.
Photocredit: sciondriver
Hey! We just got digital converters too - and I'm sorry to say I am watching a lot more TV these days... go Ugly Betty!
Seriously, as a parent who never let her boys play with toy guns or swords, and who never let them see anything but educational TV and non-violent movies when they were young, I can attest that you do get the occasional grumbling from nearly grown offspring who complain about what they missed and "what everybody else got to see." They now adore shows like "24," "Heroes" and play with swords in martial arts classes, but I'm not sorry. They have years of great media experiences as their base.
A child's brain is very absorptive. I don't know a lot about child development, but I do know that young people really do think (and imagine) very differently from adults. Why constrict their amazing brain power with junky and violent media?
As one children's media expert told me about 15 years ago, there's plenty of time for kids to discover the wide world of TV and movies, when they're old enough to handle it better... also there's the "garbage in, garbage out" concept -- I do think it's a good rule of thumb to try to provide kids with a range of really smart, interesting and beautiful media. And I love how Belinda and Hova are already starting media literacy conversations with Georgia. Great stuff.
Ok, I'm starting to sound like an old schoolmarm now..
I read your blog regularly, but I do have to say that I'm slightly uncomfortable with where you've taken it recently. I don't like posting comments like this for everyone to see, so I will keep it brief:
I very much appreciate green living, but there is a corner on the block and I think I am dangerously close to turning it and deciding I don't want to read anymore. Mission statements as a family? Families are not businesses -- at least, they shouldn't be. And no TV? I'm genuinely sorry for your daughter. The togetherness of sitting quietly together on the couch to wind down after a long day is priceless to me. Seeing his reactions to things, which feed into our playtime together, are things I would never give up.
I think I'm just being a little bitter and a little more rude, and I do whole-heartedly appologize for this. You are doing a good job raising your daughter to be more green, but you may have ventured too far for my tastes as a CSA-member, hybrid-driving real-life American.
Your lifestyle, once something that I thought was a great standard to compare myself to, is no longer applicable to me -- but oddly, it's only been the last few weeks that I've found this to be true.
Anyway, I think it's great when people leave comments, and I don't mind being the lone dissident. But, I am sorry.
Funny how TV gets people so riled up. We have loads of family time together, reading mostly, doing dance shows after dinner, stuff I wouldn't trade for TV at all. Sometimes we watch a DVD. G's a super happy child, and I don't think your sympathy is necessary just yet! My whole Momster Mission has always been:
So, how do I deal with an entire industry that caters to the visceral desire of my young child’s id without always being the bad guy? How do I help her see what consumerism is and to choose not just what is flashy and exciting, but to choose based on environmental savvy, real need, or long-term enjoyment? How do I tune her into ads to let her know people are trying to sell her things she probably doesn’t need without making her feel bad for wanting them? How do I help her be a thoughtful consumer, without brainwashing her to only think my way?
I think the TV issue is an ongoing one, so will probably make more appearances in this blog. Glad you found some use of it for awhile anyway! Sorry you feel the need to "break up!"
My parents raised our family of five children without a TV in the house. Did I miss a few dumb shows and feel left-out of conversations in school the next day? Sure, occasionally. But I also had the pleasure of reading tons of books.
We decided not to allow our daughter to watch TV on school nights, but on weekends, she could watch as much as she liked. The result was that she just wasn't that interested by the time the weekend came around. Now in college, she may not be as avid a reader as her mom, but she's always reading some book, and she's much more inclined to watch a movie than a TV program.
BTW the one time she begged for (and got) a toy she'd seen advertised, she got bored with it after two days, whereas the ones from HearthSong entertained her for years.