I’ve been having an argument with Georgia’s Grandma Margie. Margie doesn’t know it, as the argument is happening in my head, but it goes something like this:

Her: “I can’t believe you read the first two Harry Potter books to Georgia, those are inappropriate!”
Me: “We actually think that the way so much “girl stuff” is marketed to little girls is less appropriate than Harry Potter.”
Her: “But those images are so dark and disturbing, too much for a little girl!”
Me: “But we find vapid, sexy, helpless, boy crazy stereotypes worse.”

I love my mother-in-law (Hi, Mom!), and I agree, for most 4.5 year olds the Harry Potter books would be far too scary, dark and disturbing. And we did skip some scary parts at first, and explained all the plot points, and assured her everyone was going to be all right in the end. But Georgia loves Harry Potter, and regularly paints a lightning scar on her forehead and dons a pair of old glasses while muttering spells at the cat. She can play for hours with her friend Zola, who has also read the first two books and who transforms into Crookshanks when she walks in the door. We listen to books one and two on tape over and over, and Hova reads them to Georgia at night. She has always been a bit ghoulish, she has a thing for being scared, and loves orphans, especially those with special powers.

But I started second guessing our parenting. Did we push her into Harry Potter a little too soon? What are little girls into? Princesses, check. Unicorns, yep. Cute little pets, yes. Dress up, she’s got all that.

Oh, right. Barbie. We have managed to avoid too much Barbie in our lives, but I don’t know for how long. Georgia asked when she could get one. I told her I have a bunch of them from when I was a girl, and as soon as I find them (I know just where they are) she can have them. That satisfied her, but I see her look longingly at the Barbie merchandise. She thinks Barbie is so beautiful, and I did too, but now all I see is an unhealthy, bland, plastic marketing tool. Her limited Barbie experiences have been significant: I had to read her a Barbie book at a coffee shop we’ll never go to again, and she saw a snippet of a Barbie Butterfly Fairy show on TV which sparked the desire for the long, golden haired, ridiculously proportioned, unnatural beauty.

Barbie knows what little girls want, and if it were just the doll I’d give her mine and be done with it. But it’s not just the doll. I have a problem with the Barbie™ lifestyle. Barbie’s always been a fashionably sexy role model, and she was even fairly independent, what with her own car and stewardess job. But as women have evolved, Barbie, knowing our baser desires for stilettos and shades sell much more than sensible shoes and feminist slogan t-shirts, has not. The Barbie web site promises “fashion, fun games ‘n’ more” and delivers with sexily posed Barbie and Friends, amid a pink palette of pop songs, shopping opportunities, dancing doggies, adorable dolphins, pert princesses, butterfly fairies, butterfly fairy bunnies, dress up games, and magazine offers. And ads for more, more, more, more. Here is a doll whose daily challenges include what to wear and what accessories to buy, and how to thwart the evil person who is trying to stand in her way of bagging Ken (or the butterfly fairy prince).

Further in you can go to a helpful site for parents, webelieveingirls.com, aimed at “helping girls be girls,” to fight the oversexualization and materialism that is bombarding them at younger and younger ages. And article called Mom vs. Material Girl states that two things can be blamed for girls’ consuming need to consume: adolescence and “marketers who capitalize on adolescent pressures by targeting tweens and teens and encouraging their loyalty to prestige brands.” Oh, you mean like all the Barbie brand stuff advertised to little girls on the site that got me here? From bikes to electronics to shoes and backpacks, not to mention all the accessories Barbie needs to be a happy, conforming, perfect consumer doll. And the pre-packaged, multi-culti mission message on the main page has a rainbow of sweet girls of all ages stating heartening messages: I believe in being nice. I believe in Santa Claus. We believe in friendship. I believe in crushes. I believe in my mom and dad. I believe in my daughter. “We’re listening,” the site says.

It’s a nice message. But I don’t believe them. I think at best it’s anti-Bratz pabulum, posing as girl-power. A nice girl power that doesn’t bother anyone, or push any boundaries. I believe Barbie wants to have it both ways, walk the over-sexualized walk while talking the "let girls be girls" talk. My girl wants to be Harry Potter, complete with dark magic, powerful spells and good versus evil that doesn’t have to do with getting the guy. Eventually Georgia will have a Barbie, when I feel like she’s got the tools to deal with the brand pressure, but for now Harry Potter feels far more appropriate.

Photo credit: JessyeAnne